There is an undeniable uncomfortableness beneath my skin.
An unsettling, unnerving, trembling mass of fear.
I think I pass as fine as I walk around daily, fulfilling my roles as mother, wife and boss.
I think I pass when I look in the mirror as I apply my foundation and dust a layer of protection across my face.
I prepare myself to be shielded from everything, to behave like I am untouched by the burdens of the broken shards within me.
Since the truths have come out, it has been hard to keep track of my thoughts in order. Memories flood in and out, like spirits soaring through the warped holes of old, decaying walls.
I have a hard time being mindful or aware of the time, experience days of extreme fatigue and short term memory troubles.
Heavy emotions being felt around me and light conflicts send me into deep sadness or overwhelm.
Panic attacks are swallowed and contained beneath my ribs, as to not release signs of anguish or disappointments.
And I realize that my eyes blink in a way that hints there is a glitch in the program.
But I remind myself it is all ok. And all these feelings, they are just
My own reflection in the mirror looks like me staring back into the corneas of my hazel eyes, but there is a flicker in her lash that makes me question if we are identical
or if this is all an altered timeline, just passing as
Published by Jean Soto JS Jaded Savior blog: firstname.lastname@example.org
Jean Soto, mother of 3 and wife, is a writer + artist in the Hudson Valley, NY community.
Content mention of Rape, Abuse, Neglect, Addictions, Mental Illness, Kidnap, Molestation, Child abuse, Teen Pregnancy, Abortion, birth, body image, gender/identity dysphoria, sexuality, personal trauma, domestic violence and other extremely personal stories. Please practice caution. I am not a licensed physician or mental health professional. No medical prescribing is provided on this site, Only personal insights, experience stories, and advice; All stories published have had prior authorization. Questions? Contact Jean at: email@example.com
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