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#jadedsavior #anonymous #poetry #anxiety

6/1/2019

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An anonymous submission:
​"Strangers"


Every now and then
I search for your face
On a distant screen
Or I'll type your name
And it's not that I'm dying
I don't feel anything tender
I know if I message you
You wont even remember
No, that word I want
Never slipped off your tongue 
But it's the only one I crave
And it's got my mind hung
Up past my bedtime
And thinking of the time
That we sat on the park bench
With your head on my thighs 
And our fingers interlaced
But you left without a trace
And as silent as the day we met
You no longer speak my name
And you wouldn't recognize 
The girl I am now
No shes nothing like
Those black itchy stockings
And that statement piece
Black smoked liner
So I wont keep you long
No I don't have the ring
I would've drowned in expectations
And "sorry" was never your thing
I guess neither was one partner
Or settling down
And it beats me to know what
Made you bring us both down
Til we had nothing left
You even erased the past
Nothing counts when its dishonest
That's why you had to speak last
But I'm dancing with shadows
And I'm missing empty spaces
All the memories unmade
By different girls faces
How could I think I'm guilty
Or to blame for the messes
That I had to clean up
No, you'd never address this
So I'll pretend for the both
That you said it just once
So one less piece of darkness
Can keep me held up
So I can unsee our future 
So I can delete where we met
Unlock my heart
And finally breathe again

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Published by Jean Soto JS Jaded Savior blog: jadedsaviorblog@gmail.com
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    Jean Soto, mother of 3 and wife, is a writer + artist in the Hudson Valley, NY community. 

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TRIGGER WARNING:
Content mention of Rape, Abuse, Neglect, Addictions, Mental Illness, Kidnap, Molestation, Child abuse, Teen Pregnancy, Abortion, birth, body image, gender/identity dysphoria, sexuality, personal trauma, domestic violence and other extremely personal stories. Please practice caution. I am not a licensed physician or mental health professional. No medical prescribing is provided on this site, Only personal insights, experience stories,  and advice; All stories published have had prior authorization.  Questions? Contact Jean at:  jadedsaviorblog@gmail.com

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