When my kids get into their "wild and free" nature, wanting to run around + stomp + make noises within their own space ---> I feel TRIGGERED AF.
I want to let out a MAMA BEAR ROAR. IT IS SO HARD. I have this planned day or hour to work, which feels totally sabotaged by their lack of consideration for me. BUT THEN I remember that they are "kids". And what that means to me is they are young people who are learning about their emotions and decision making. How I handle interactions with them will become their inner voice. The emotions I ridicule or the actions they make that I blow up about with negatively impact them. These little people deserve to sometimes revel in chaos. Don't we all? So mama does the big girl thing and takes a step back. When I evaluate that they are SAFE and HAPPY, I let them play. Unstructured. Not controlled. Not scolded. Just let them BE. And my anxiety brain can take a back seat. I can calm myself in the other room by lighting candles and putting on my favorite music. I can sit with my discomfort and process it, rather than REACTING at them. Because I also need to be reminded it is ok to want calmness. To want relaxation. To hate chaos. It is ok that I have triggers, anxiety and unresolved trauma. I can love myself through it without passing it on. Published by Jean Soto JS Jaded Savior blog: jadedsaviorblog@gmail.com
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AuthorJean Soto, mother of 3 and wife, is a writer + artist in the Hudson Valley, NY community. Archives
December 2019
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