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#parenthood #triggers #motherhood #anxiety #boundaries

11/9/2019

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When my kids get into their "wild and free" nature, wanting to run around + stomp + make noises within their own space ---> I feel TRIGGERED AF.

I want to let out a MAMA BEAR ROAR.

IT IS SO HARD.

I have this planned day or hour to work, which feels totally sabotaged by their lack of consideration for me.

BUT THEN I remember that they are "kids". And what that means to me is they are young people who are learning about their emotions and decision making.

How I handle interactions with them will become their inner voice.

The emotions I ridicule or the actions they make that I blow up about with negatively impact them.

These little people deserve to sometimes revel in chaos.

Don't we all?

So mama does the big girl thing and takes a step back.

When I evaluate that they are SAFE and HAPPY, I let them play. Unstructured. Not controlled. Not scolded.

Just let them BE.

And my anxiety brain can take a back seat.

I can calm myself in the other room by lighting candles and putting on my favorite music.

I can sit with my discomfort and process it, rather than REACTING at them.

Because I also need to be reminded it is ok to want calmness.

To want relaxation.

​To hate chaos.

It is ok that I have triggers, anxiety and unresolved trauma.


I can love myself through it without passing it on.
​
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Published by Jean Soto JS Jaded Savior blog: jadedsaviorblog@gmail.com
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    Jean Soto, mother of 3 and wife, is a writer + artist in the Hudson Valley, NY community. 

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TRIGGER WARNING:
Content mention of Rape, Abuse, Neglect, Addictions, Mental Illness, Kidnap, Molestation, Child abuse, Teen Pregnancy, Abortion, birth, body image, gender/identity dysphoria, sexuality, personal trauma, domestic violence and other extremely personal stories. Please practice caution. I am not a licensed physician or mental health professional. No medical prescribing is provided on this site, Only personal insights, experience stories,  and advice; All stories published have had prior authorization.  Questions? Contact Jean at:  jadedsaviorblog@gmail.com

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