"Peace, Love and Understanding"
How do I sum up what I want out of life?
Out of my writing and my passions?
What I want is peace, love and understanding.
"But that does not pay the bills." They say.
I want to tell "they" to STFU.
Truly, I do. Unapologetically.
But that goes against my point, my way of being, my path.
Money pays the bills. Any service or item I can provide to a client in exchange for money will pay my bills. And maybe I can make a lot of money. Maybe I can become rich.
But rich does not equal abundant.
I have been poor all my life.
I was born into a poor marriage, with poor communication skills and poor health, a pour addiction and poor contribution to my growth.
I was a poor teen mom. One with no fathers in my life and no monetary value to my name, no form of identity on hand.
I have millions worth in talent, but no one wants to have to pay what it is worth.
Instead I have to fight and bite my way through the system. I'm told I can achieve anything, as long as I train for a triathlon of challenges and unforeseen circumstances, and debt that chases area codes, overdrafts and payment finances, so I can climb deeper into poverty, especially after interest.
To really pay my bills, I have to endure the bad customers ---> you know, the ones who belittle and barter, but replace me at any second, like because of my tone or the weather <--- even though it causes anxiety.
Because if I lived off of the kind of clients and business type that brought abundance into my life, I would always live in poverty, check to check, wondering how I could ever afford this life.
Wondering if I can handle the financial sacrifice of being one of many people who just want to give the world
Peace, Love and Understanding.
Published by Jean Soto JS Jaded Savior blog: email@example.com
Jean Soto, mother of 3 and wife, is a writer + artist in the Hudson Valley, NY community.
Content mention of Rape, Abuse, Neglect, Addictions, Mental Illness, Kidnap, Molestation, Child abuse, Teen Pregnancy, Abortion, birth, body image, gender/identity dysphoria, sexuality, personal trauma, domestic violence and other extremely personal stories. Please practice caution. I am not a licensed physician or mental health professional. No medical prescribing is provided on this site, Only personal insights, experience stories, and advice; All stories published have had prior authorization. Questions? Contact Jean at: firstname.lastname@example.org
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