I want to say something that I have been holding back for a long time, because I know it will rock the boat.
However, in my authenticity mission, it is now my personal obligation to RIP open my truths and spread them out for all to hear.
I see something a lot, on Facebook mostly, that really rubs me the wrong way.
I am pointing out this tactic, not trying to attack the people who do this.
You all have your reasons, and maybe you are genuinely unaware of my perspective.
But here it goes anyways.
■Trauma stories are not a sales tactic ■
Sharing a really deep and personal struggle to really resonate with your clients is amazing.
The truth and the rawness is so enticing, because we humans crave understanding. And we thrive with compassion.
But when a coach or professional tells a long, traumatic story and ends it with "sign up tonight only for $111", my heart SINKS.
I feel duped.
Should you be able to, as a healer or coach, share your rawness? Duh. Yes.
Should you be able to attract your target audience with rawness? Duh. Yes.
But you have so many tactics available to you, including a website and squeeze pages, that can store your pricing and your programs.
You can also write separate posts that say hey, remember me ---> the authenticity queen <--- I also make a living, and here is how you can join or support that.
Having me read your assault story, your broken marriage, your eating disorder or some other traumatic experience makes me respect and honor your vulnerability.
When there is a price tag attached to that vulnerability, I then feel like you are trying to mirror my traumas and then take my money.
I am responsible for what triggers me. And I am doing that work.
But when someone responds to me by saying, my sales are just triggering you, I feel compelled to say " No, honey, your sales are exploiting the heart of me that has already been kicked around. So you dont actually know how to speak to me as a trauma survivor."
A trauma survivor may have all sorts of obstacles to overcome and that includes being a business owner as well as a client.
It is hard being an entrepreneur with trauma. It is hard being a window shopper client on Facebook each day with all sorts of people telling compelling stories and then wanting to get paid.
I respect and love coaches.
I love entrepreneurs and all the work from home mamas I befriend who have a job, MLM career or their own. Those are my people.
I also love all of the women on my feed who have been thru all sorts of trauma. And I respect them for each of their struggles.
I have to make a living and pay the bills just like all of you. And we all have no clue what each others triggers are.
But if you are selling to trauma survivors, please understand that your approach really does matter.
And when you connect with us in our most raw and intense moments, we do not want to feel like there are strings attached.
If we watch you and admire you, follow your work and want to reach out ----> WE WILL.
We will come to you.
We do not need to be baited.
We do not need convincing.
If you have to convince your clients to get help from you then they are not ready yet.
And I know this as an entrepreneur, who is a mom and a trauma survivor.
I know this as a woman who shares her truths.
When I share my stories, it is to be honest and real with you all.
When I share my projects or plans, it's to open up about my dreams and goals.
When I start to monetize or sell, it will also be known and clear. Sans bait.
When I PM a professional, I do not want to be sold something either.
Let me ask you what you do and if I want or need it, I will tell you.
If I post about my body fat, my communication problems or my parenting struggles, it is not an invite to get added to groups or be cold messaged about your sale and how you need just one more to hit your goal.
I will never ever be rude or cruel to someone.
I will never screen shot cold messages or hurt someone's feelings over their bad sales tactic.
But I am not beyond telling them the truth about my feelings or opinion.
Another thing -----> If I say I do not have the money, I mean it.
The other worst post ever is when you sell your product by saying things like:
"My clients say:
'I don't have the money'
'I don't have the time'
That is so shitty. If someone tells you that, chances are 1 of 2 things:
They are either TELLING THE FUCKING TRUTH or YOU MAKE THEM UNCOMFORTABLE.
And what that means is you have no right to tell someone that they are not doing themselves a favor if they don't work with you.
Stop telling your client market that they do not love themselves enough if they wont buy your lipstick, fake lashes, scented lotion, fat burners, books, courses, coaching sessions etc.
If anyone wants what you have, I repeat, they will come to you.
And the best sales tactic is to just show up as your wonderful fucking self consistently.
Regardless of your makeup, your filter, your voice pitch, your background drop, your hair, your glittery jewelry.
And authenticity is fucking priceless.
Published by Jean Soto JS Jaded Savior blog: firstname.lastname@example.org
Jean Soto, mother of 3 and wife, is a writer + artist in the Hudson Valley, NY community.
Content mention of Rape, Abuse, Neglect, Addictions, Mental Illness, Kidnap, Molestation, Child abuse, Teen Pregnancy, Abortion, birth, body image, gender/identity dysphoria, sexuality, personal trauma, domestic violence and other extremely personal stories. Please practice caution. I am not a licensed physician or mental health professional. No medical prescribing is provided on this site, Only personal insights, experience stories, and advice; All stories published have had prior authorization. Questions? Contact Jean at: email@example.com
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