Almost every day I make a post and use my words to empower people. I feel the calling to be blunt, raw, and open with everyone. I try to put a positive spin on things and share my trauma through unique writing styles. Most of all, I try to leave little sparks for people who need it.
Today has been a rough day. And I don't want to hide the rough times I go through. I want to be as authentic as possible about my experiences and push myself to be vulnerable.
Today I have cried my eyes out. I have screamed at the top of my lungs, so loud my throat now hurts.
I have lost my patience multiple times and had to put myself in time out to catch my breathe in the bathroom.
Today I have yelled at my kids, had a heart attack when one Iof them busted his bottom lip on a toy while running around, and then taught another one a bad word accidentally. The kid who is a parrot and repeats everything 73626383 times.
Today has been so hard I am already tired for tomorrow.
I have so much stress my stomach hurts and I cannot think straight.
But that is HUMAN.
We have these UGLY ASS DAYS.
Some more than others.
And though in the moment I feel helpless, I know it will pass.
And I know I am not the only one.
If you had a hard day, a hard week, or this entire year has been a giant ball of FFUUUCCCCKKKKKKK, know that hard times will come and go. Like a rollercoaster.
But if you lean in and pay attention to the details, you can find better ways to handle yourself.
I cannot control what will happen to me all the time. I cannot spend my every second thinking of possibilities and outcomes.
But I can control who I am and what I do. I can choose to be REACTIVE or ACTIVE in finding solutions.
I also have to honor my feelings. Sometimes I have to just cry it out. And know those feelings have to be expelled from my body so they do not manifest into something else.
You will get through what hardships you have, as will I.
It helps to know we are not alone.
Everybody has stress, bills, a mouth to feed and a heart to care for.
Everyone has UGLY AF days and HARD AF decisions to make.
No matter how rich or poor, what color you are or what your age is.
Life can feel really hard and unfair sometimes.
But we have to hold strong and work hard.
Most of all, remember to just breathe.
Published by Jean Soto JS Jaded Savior blog: firstname.lastname@example.org
Jean Soto, mother of 3 and wife, is a writer + artist in the Hudson Valley, NY community.
Content mention of Rape, Abuse, Neglect, Addictions, Mental Illness, Kidnap, Molestation, Child abuse, Teen Pregnancy, Abortion, birth, body image, gender/identity dysphoria, sexuality, personal trauma, domestic violence and other extremely personal stories. Please practice caution. I am not a licensed physician or mental health professional. No medical prescribing is provided on this site, Only personal insights, experience stories, and advice; All stories published have had prior authorization. Questions? Contact Jean at: email@example.com
EMPOWERING MINDS SINCE 2019