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#selfproclamations #beautystandards #makeup #reflection

8/14/2019

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I am so thankful for all the women on my feed who take live videos doing their own makeup.

I've admired the YOUNIQUE brand babes for years, but also other makeup and beauty mamas who get themselves up on screen so we can see all of your BEFORE, REAL faces.

Don't get me wrong, makeup is cool.

As I have mentioned on Facebook before, self expression is the bomb.
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When you can rock your own beauty naturally though, it feels so great.
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​And believe it or not, when I see all styles of women get up on screen with their ring lights and cool backdrops, I want to tune in for the first few minutes MOST.

WHY?

I love seeing what you look like under makeup. 

Because I know what I look like without makeup.

When I wipe off the bronzer, blush, concealer, setting powder, foundation, anti shine powder, highlighter, contour, eyebrow dye, lid primer, eye shadows, mascara, eyeliner, lip liner, lip primer, matte lipstick, and moisturizer..

I have large pores, combination skin, blemishes, freckles, moles, a gap toothed smile, off white teeth, puffy under eyelids, veiny top eyelids, chapped lips, nose skin that loves to flake around my nostrils, pesky nose hairs, balding eyebrows that are 2 different natural shapes and overgrow at the sides.

I have acne and blackheads. Scars and battle wounds. From years of all sorts of abuses.

I have fat under my chin, a dry neck, and my ears stick out when my hair is up like a freaking elf.

When I see you beautiful women get on live and I identify your natural "imperfections", I feel human.

Magazines show me makeup. Social media gives me tons of beauty tips and standards. All the girls on TV, as young as 10 on Disney channel show me flawless skin.

But what I want to see, as someone with anxiety and prior longterm abuse, is fucking pores.

Tell me you have pimples at 28.
Tell me your neck NEVER matches the rest of you.
Tell me your boobs sag.
Tell me your eyelids are droopy and veiny.

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Beneath the makeup, which I totally think is great, is a really amazing woman.
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And I want to see her.

So I can feel beautiful too ♡.
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So when you see me tune into your video, and I watch the first 8 minutes of you saying good morning, sipping your coffee, and telling me about your day ....

----> Please NOTE that I personally watch you with a spark in my soul <---

Because your daytime face may look fierce, but your morning face and the aftermath of your baby wipe attack before bed make me feel normal in this world.
Published by Jean Soto JS Jaded Savior blog: jadedsaviorblog@gmail.com
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    Jean Soto, mother of 3 and wife, is a writer + artist in the Hudson Valley, NY community. 

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TRIGGER WARNING:
Content mention of Rape, Abuse, Neglect, Addictions, Mental Illness, Kidnap, Molestation, Child abuse, Teen Pregnancy, Abortion, birth, body image, gender/identity dysphoria, sexuality, personal trauma, domestic violence and other extremely personal stories. Please practice caution. I am not a licensed physician or mental health professional. No medical prescribing is provided on this site, Only personal insights, experience stories,  and advice; All stories published have had prior authorization.  Questions? Contact Jean at:  jadedsaviorblog@gmail.com

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