WEEK 4: DECLUTTER
In May I lost a friendship that was 20 yrs in the making. And it was out of no where. Because of something I knew in my heart was fucking wrong and NOT TRUE. My bff thought I made a status about her that was passive aggressive?! When I was just having an ordinary day writing something about my life and thoughts. And it's funny because up until May, most of the people on my feed [about 800ish friends] were posting such negative + downer posts ALL THE TIME. ----> AND THOSE SAME PEOPLE SAID THINGS LIKE "STAAAP USING FACEBOOK AS A DIARY. I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR LIFE PROBLEMS." I would like to tell you ALL something right now. THAT IS STUPID. But not for the reasons I bought into back then. You see, I now write daily about personal shit. It started on May 21st, when I launched my blog with one of the most REAL, RAW long ass stories I ever told. It was a humiliating, sad, down right depressing time in my teen years. It was the day my parents all kicked me out, while I was 16 and 3 months pregnant. The same day my school made it clear I would need to leave. The same day I left my 16 years of child abuse and mentally insane inner circle behind. I launched on my 12 year mark since leaving that life behind ----> and one week after that friendship dissolved. I thought I would be in pieces over such a loss. Someone who I felt was like a sister. But in many ways, I didn't know myself only one season ago. I am blunt as all FUCK. I am raw, emotional, and I go all in when I love something. I am a story teller + an artist + an advocate. I am a dreamer AND doer. And I run with all my ideas. One of the most common phrases I have ever heard from others to describe me. "You just run with everything." "You have no fears." "You take life and turn it into what you NEED." I had no clue why I did not see myself that way before but it hit me this summer while working on more really raw content about abortion and rape. I want to have a TRANSPARENT soul and heart. I want to write who I am and what I do daily. I want to educate and empower through my most raw stories and I will tell you all about my life. And it is not because I "love to talk about me" or complain. Now I know what to say to people who have this view. STOP LAYING YOUR SHIT ON ME. And start digging deep into yourself. If you have ANGER, JEALOUSY, PARANOIA, INFERIORITY COMPLEX, SHAME, FEEL REJECTED, HAVE DEEP INSECURITIES, OR USE WHAT OTHER PEOPLE DO AS A WAY TO JUSTIFY YOUR BAD ATTITUDE.... Then you have unpacked TRAUMA babe. You have deep, unresolved issues that you are holding inside and YOU are mirroring that on everyone else. And to that, I have just one last thing to say.... Maybe you should write about it? 🤔🤔🤥👩💻 Published by Jean Soto JS Jaded Savior blog: jadedsaviorblog@gmail.com
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AuthorJean Soto, mother of 3 and wife, is a writer + artist in the Hudson Valley, NY community. Archives
December 2019
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