Decide today that you matter most.
Say "I need this for me."
Ignite that bomb and watch how it will EXPLODE your true potential instantaneously.
When we feed ourselves and we give in to what makes us feel best, we set a tone that ripples into all the things and people around us.
"I will do this for me."
So take that trip you have been putting off.
Buy that book you have been keeping in your "save for later" on Amazon for over a year now. Last Christmas you wanted it so badly but could not bring yourself to tell your partner because you wanted them to discover it on their own.
Stop it. Stop putting your own expectations and desires on a Que that no one will ever really get to.
Instead, make pleasing yourself a daily routine.
I know no one has taught you how to do that. Only negative connotations come with making yourself happy.
But the truth is, those are triggers other people feel the need to push on you. Because they also do not put themselves first.
When we are poor, we ALSO never want to put ourselves first.
Every cent should go towards climbing out of poverty, so we only feel shame and guilt when we spend out of rage of the priorities.
But every time you ignore your own care or desires, to a certain extent you keep yourself STUCK ON PAUSE.
By not purchasing things that can level you up.
By not spending money on healthier options to better fortify your body and mind.
By not spending on education so you can expand your mind.
And lastly, we ignore our own needs when we have a lot of dependents. Like having children, being in a domestic partnership, even caring for a parent or relative.
We say they come first because it is the right way to be as a nurturer, caretaker, provider, loving person etc.
You give your kids the food, the money, the gift cards, the last of the bubble bath, the extra hour at bed time, the side of your bed....
You do all these things in love.
You may serve your partner, ask them for nothing to be kind, not make boundaries or state suggestions because to you SPEAKING YOUR DESIRES sounds a whole lot like making demands.
And you don't want to be THAT PERSON. But...that person is the person who would THRIVE.
That person that has done the HARD work of being caring, loving, attentive, assertive, and been practical "with self gratification".
And guess what? That version of you is the winner. The goal.
You deserve to feel LOVED. CHERISHED. NOURISHED. LISTENED TO. THANKED.
But not from everyone around you so much as yourself.
Imagine if those unmet expectations you carry as a burden on your slumped shoulders was redirected onto yourself.
If you BOUGHT THAT DAMN BOOK ALREADY.
AND THEN, YOU MADE A COFFEE DATE DOWN THE ROAD ONCE A WEEK FOR YOURSELF TO READ IT.
Imagine you made a bedtime that your kids stuck with, but you poured 20 minutes of love and book reading until you said OK GUYS, NOW I'M TAKING A MOMMY BREAK. SWEET DREAMS.
And then you did. For a whole hour. That hour you swore you never have.
To bathe. Or sip wine. Or paint. Or take a course. Or listen to a book. Or freaking masturbate. Something exclusively to provide you with love, support, awareness, pleasure.
I want you to make a resolution with me. Not just for 2020. For November 11th 2019.
Develop a needs list for yourself and then make it a priority to achieve the things weekly.
Yes. You have the time. You just spend it elsewhere.
I promise this new way of thinking will feel weird as fuck at first but then quickly turn into a whole lifestyle change.
I want you to fall in love with yourself. Put work into yourself. And then watch how the beautiful ripples of love and respect touch all other areas of your life.
How it will mend your relationship with other people, as well as set the tone of what you are willing to tolerate.
You're going to grow into NEW boundaries and an attitude of "I need this for me" so I can better help others.
You're going to claim good health, happiness, and abundance in replace of all those negative connotations because you will know in your heart that if you are cared for, everything else will be.
So let's get you started. Make that list here. What are your needs? What makes you feel good? What do you miss doing or always wished you could have gotten started?
What is one thing you can do TONIGHT to please or nurture yourself? Then start. It's that straightforward.
When I began pleasing myself, caring for my skin, putting time into my passions, saying no to what does not serve me, saying STOP to who does not respect me -----> I gained a glow.
I can see it. I can feel it.
I radiate the bullshit away.
And at first it felt unnatural. Now it is subconscious. And since I set my boundaries with those closest to me, it has been a guilt free journey.
I care for me so that I am strong and capable enough to care for everyone else.
I still mindfully, daily put this into practice.
And on the really hard days, I put EXTRA love into myself.
I never felt so loved before. ♡
Now I finally feel ready to serve others. To be bigger, better, stronger.
To step into the next phase of my life without fear.
Stop constantly making 20 mins of shower time and pampering yourself A STRUGGLE.
Your best self is waiting to be found.
Published by Jean Soto JS Jaded Savior blog: firstname.lastname@example.org
Jean Soto, mother of 3 and wife, is a writer + artist in the Hudson Valley, NY community.
Content mention of Rape, Abuse, Neglect, Addictions, Mental Illness, Kidnap, Molestation, Child abuse, Teen Pregnancy, Abortion, birth, body image, gender/identity dysphoria, sexuality, personal trauma, domestic violence and other extremely personal stories. Please practice caution. I am not a licensed physician or mental health professional. No medical prescribing is provided on this site, Only personal insights, experience stories, and advice; All stories published have had prior authorization. Questions? Contact Jean at: email@example.com
EMPOWERING MINDS SINCE 2019