STOP LIVING YOUR LIFE ON A FERRIS WHEEL.
You have been spinning around doing "ooohs and ahhhs" at the skyline and the pretty lights beyond for what seems like a lifetime already.
But in order to appreciate the sparkle of life up close, you need to get off the damn ride and move forward.
Move. Forward. And outward.
Expansion will never come if you are just a spectator.
I was on the ride for 28 years and then I realized I had signed up for chronic motion sickness + suffering without a hint as to how I ended up that way.
Most of us suffer because we do not see how we perpetuate it.
Do not wait until Jan 1 to get off the ride.
In fact, if you are reading this, here is your Que.
THE RIDE IS OVER.
THE LOOP OF SUFFERING YOU HAVE BEEN ON....
Watching everyone else "succeed" and then thinking that you are just not enough.
That is wrong.
You were wrong.
But it's ok.
You know what you need to do.
It is not stupid.
It is not ridiculous.
Sign off to the notion that your IDEAS are impossible.
That no one else will care.
That you lack the abilities to make it happen.
You have always had what it takes, the tools you need to achieve anything you want.
You just never believed it.
Those twinkling lights and skyline are close enough to touch.
But do me a favor.
Make sure you rise up HIGH.
MAKE SURE YOU CHASE THOSE DREAMS AND THEN YOU SHINE LIKE A MO FO BEACON.
THE GOAL IS NOT JUST TO GET OFF THE WHEEL.
It is to shine so brightly you create the encouragement others need to get off the damn wheel too.
J.S. Jaded Savior
There are a million reasons to leave a toxic situation behind.
But the number one reason for me is I no longer allow myself to participate in anything that does not bring me joy.
I used to half believe it, through narrowed eyes, that life was not meant to always be enjoyed.
"It is what it is", "that is life", "what did you expect?" were some of the phrases used to normalize abuse and neglect, gas lighting and infidelity.
Idk, Frank. I expected people to not be pieces of shit.
And I was some what right in my demand that the world be kind by default.
It should be.
And those who are unkind, have only been painted by trauma.
Red hands and face, thinking the marker was permanent and not wanting to find a remedy, because #whybother.
It became easier for people to just fit a racist, sexist or down right cruel agenda because it is what their families' perpetuated for generations.
It became normal to look the other way when someone is in distress.
It became typical to blame the victim when they had received some kind of abuse from a partner or even a stranger.
Desensitization of trauma, that is what made the world cold.
And gave perpetrators the okay to amp up abuse without fear of repercussions.
In this world, we have gotten used to and even expected no repercussions.
So even though we, adults, lecture incessantly the need to be kind and courteous --- that lesson is void not far down the line when someone awful gets done or witnessed.
When will a real conversation be held around trauma?
This black hole that no one knows how to stop but blindly perpetuate it everywhere.
Between families, businesses, neighborly interactions ---> the conversation never gets held.
We spend so much time on the tv dramas and who wore what dress to the Grammys.
We program our kids to "not get involved in the affair of others" but simultaneously tell them kindness is king.
It is not kind to turn a cheek when a friend gets coerced into drinking and led into a bedroom without either party having to consider the not "fine line" between rape and consent.
It is not kind to hear about a kid at home with an alcoholic father and fearful mother, just to say "well they are adults and there is nothing we can really do about it".
It is not kind to say a girl must know what she got herself into when she is beat up and bullied by her partner constantly.
When the conversation gets had, it is always the wrong one.
We spend all the time saying "what now?"
This society struggles with toxic behaviors because on a global level, we NEVER uphold boundaries.
Heck, we mostly don't even talk about them.
Not loud enough.
Not as a standard.
"To each their own" should never be associated with abuse.
When one hurts, we should all hurt.
Because this is a global issue.
The blind eye to corruption.
The continual perpetuation of immoral misconduct and emotional abuse between partnerships.
Parent and child.
Customer and company.
Toxic behaviors and enabling abuse can be found everywhere.
It would not be "profitable" to work on a cure.
For mental illness.
For social issues.
For discriminating and bullying between races and cultures and religions.
It would not pay a pocket to serve with love.
Ever notice how when someone says "I do this for joy" people roll their eyes and say "so your struggling, huh?"
An artist or creative MUST be starving and struggling.
Because we do not pay well to the inventors, the creators, the teachers.
We only pay the progressives and the healers in ridicule.
While the cold and greedy laugh. Spinning the wheel.
I demand in my lifetime that truths be shared and people link together.
Arm in arm, ready to not be ok with the world being seen as a dark place.
We should think it is really fucked up to dismiss the world for being cruel.
For dismissing the leaders of our nations to be bigots or psychopaths, dictators, or bullies.
We should think it is a really ridiculous and irrational thing to teach OUR CHILDREN that perps deserve more protection UNDER THE LAW THAN VICTIMS DO.
I never ever want to turn to my kid and say, "well, were you wearing a skirt?"
"But did you even try to stop it?"
"Is there any substantial proof other than your alleged honesty?"
Instead, we will be holding conversations like "this is what a healthy relationship looks like." , "this is abuse looks like" , "this is the result of doing things without passion and joy", "this is why we set boundaries", "this is where we draw the line."
I am proud to draw the line OUT LOUD.
I know which side of it I stand on.
Let's change the face of life to a happy one and do things that lead us with love.
Let love be the default.
Let understand and compassion be the compass.
Let life be all about embracing healthy and happy.
Let's make it really fucking clear for the people in the back that healthy means upholding safety, respect, honor, loyalty, courage and JOY.
Let's make our reason to LEAVE abuse be that it should never even happen at all.
J.S. Jaded Savior
I am no longer a participant in other peoples' criticism of the things my soul felt called to.
It is "well within my soul".
Not, "it was accepted by an outsider so I can breathe now".
That is a boundary.
I now honor my own decisions, perspective, and desires.
I honor myself without needing to participate in someone else's worries or triggers.
I am going to shake people, scare people, rub people the wrong way.
I am not going to be understood by everybody.
Not because I am complicated.
What someone else feels, it is their own private party.
I decline the invite because it is not my decision nor my responsibility to feel anything other than joy when I follow my own heart. ♡
You are not the sum of someone else's....
J.S. Jaded Savior
I do this thing that makes people deeply rattled and uncomfortable sometimes.
I used to feel insecure about it. Like I was doing something wrong. But then I realized my perspective was just lacking a certain truth and growth I now have.
People don't know how to react to being held. Or hugged. Or touched.
And I thought it was about intrusiveness.
It is not.
When I give hugs [after using judgement already on who and how to do it] I mean them.
I am sending love and light by touch.
I am showing gratitude.
I am breaking barriers.
When I tell you I am a hugger, what I really mean is I am stepping into your box to show you I love you.
I love you.
I am not afraid to say I love you.
I used to be.
What will they think? Is it the right time? Will it be received? Or reciprocated?
Now I know this truth.
My hugs and love are MINE to give.
Not to barter with or beg with or exchange with.
My love no longer feels the need to be met with.
Or even understood.
It is not a puzzle.
My love is not a puzzle.
So if I give you a hug, even though your trauma says ---> "what the fuck is this person doing to me?" I am sending you love that is non- transactional.
No hidden terms or fees.
In a world with hidden motives, love should be anything but that.
J. S. JADED SAVIOR
Empowering content that inspires and provokes thoughts around healing, personal growth and personal development.
Content mention of Rape, Abuse, Neglect, Addictions, Mental Illness, Kidnap, Molestation, Child abuse, Teen Pregnancy, Abortion, birth, body image, gender/identity dysphoria, sexuality, personal trauma, domestic violence and other extremely personal stories. Please practice caution. I am not a licensed physician or mental health professional. No medical prescribing is provided on this site, Only personal insights, experience stories, and advice; All stories published have had prior authorization. Questions? Contact Jean at: firstname.lastname@example.org
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