There are a million reasons to leave a toxic situation behind.
But the number one reason for me is I no longer allow myself to participate in anything that does not bring me joy.
I used to half believe it, through narrowed eyes, that life was not meant to always be enjoyed.
"It is what it is", "that is life", "what did you expect?" were some of the phrases used to normalize abuse and neglect, gas lighting and infidelity.
Idk, Frank. I expected people to not be pieces of shit.
And I was some what right in my demand that the world be kind by default.
It should be.
And those who are unkind, have only been painted by trauma.
Red hands and face, thinking the marker was permanent and not wanting to find a remedy, because #whybother.
It became easier for people to just fit a racist, sexist or down right cruel agenda because it is what their families' perpetuated for generations.
It became normal to look the other way when someone is in distress.
It became typical to blame the victim when they had received some kind of abuse from a partner or even a stranger.
Desensitization of trauma, that is what made the world cold.
And gave perpetrators the okay to amp up abuse without fear of repercussions.
In this world, we have gotten used to and even expected no repercussions.
So even though we, adults, lecture incessantly the need to be kind and courteous --- that lesson is void not far down the line when someone awful gets done or witnessed.
When will a real conversation be held around trauma?
This black hole that no one knows how to stop but blindly perpetuate it everywhere.
Between families, businesses, neighborly interactions ---> the conversation never gets held.
We spend so much time on the tv dramas and who wore what dress to the Grammys.
We program our kids to "not get involved in the affair of others" but simultaneously tell them kindness is king.
It is not kind to turn a cheek when a friend gets coerced into drinking and led into a bedroom without either party having to consider the not "fine line" between rape and consent.
It is not kind to hear about a kid at home with an alcoholic father and fearful mother, just to say "well they are adults and there is nothing we can really do about it".
It is not kind to say a girl must know what she got herself into when she is beat up and bullied by her partner constantly.
When the conversation gets had, it is always the wrong one.
We spend all the time saying "what now?"
This society struggles with toxic behaviors because on a global level, we NEVER uphold boundaries.
Heck, we mostly don't even talk about them.
Not loud enough.
Not as a standard.
"To each their own" should never be associated with abuse.
When one hurts, we should all hurt.
Because this is a global issue.
The blind eye to corruption.
The continual perpetuation of immoral misconduct and emotional abuse between partnerships.
Parent and child.
Customer and company.
Toxic behaviors and enabling abuse can be found everywhere.
It would not be "profitable" to work on a cure.
For mental illness.
For social issues.
For discriminating and bullying between races and cultures and religions.
It would not pay a pocket to serve with love.
Ever notice how when someone says "I do this for joy" people roll their eyes and say "so your struggling, huh?"
An artist or creative MUST be starving and struggling.
Because we do not pay well to the inventors, the creators, the teachers.
We only pay the progressives and the healers in ridicule.
While the cold and greedy laugh. Spinning the wheel.
I demand in my lifetime that truths be shared and people link together.
Arm in arm, ready to not be ok with the world being seen as a dark place.
We should think it is really fucked up to dismiss the world for being cruel.
For dismissing the leaders of our nations to be bigots or psychopaths, dictators, or bullies.
We should think it is a really ridiculous and irrational thing to teach OUR CHILDREN that perps deserve more protection UNDER THE LAW THAN VICTIMS DO.
I never ever want to turn to my kid and say, "well, were you wearing a skirt?"
"But did you even try to stop it?"
"Is there any substantial proof other than your alleged honesty?"
Instead, we will be holding conversations like "this is what a healthy relationship looks like." , "this is abuse looks like" , "this is the result of doing things without passion and joy", "this is why we set boundaries", "this is where we draw the line."
I am proud to draw the line OUT LOUD.
I know which side of it I stand on.
Let's change the face of life to a happy one and do things that lead us with love.
Let love be the default.
Let understand and compassion be the compass.
Let life be all about embracing healthy and happy.
Let's make it really fucking clear for the people in the back that healthy means upholding safety, respect, honor, loyalty, courage and JOY.
Let's make our reason to LEAVE abuse be that it should never even happen at all.
J.S. Jaded Savior
Empowering content that inspires and provokes thoughts around healing, personal growth and personal development.
Content mention of Rape, Abuse, Neglect, Addictions, Mental Illness, Kidnap, Molestation, Child abuse, Teen Pregnancy, Abortion, birth, body image, gender/identity dysphoria, sexuality, personal trauma, domestic violence and other extremely personal stories. Please practice caution. I am not a licensed physician or mental health professional. No medical prescribing is provided on this site, Only personal insights, experience stories, and advice; All stories published have had prior authorization. Questions? Contact Jean at: firstname.lastname@example.org
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