Living in a dismissive society IS A HARDSHIP.
Every day people dismiss one another, damaging mindset and ability to perform not only in daily tasks but in big picture achievements.
Every day we read and hear things like "well I never saw that before, not even once", and "where I'm from, no one was that way."
Generalizations and blanket statements ARE often dismissive of truths that are carried around by individuals.
Our truths are sacred aspects of the way we perceive the word.
But it goes beyond that.
We ARE emotional, complex beings.
We ARE hardwired around emotional connections and expressive characteristics that help us survive as a species.
Being a dismissive partner, friend, sibling, parent, child, coworker, boss etc. all have detrimental effects on the way we experience life.
For instance, someone is knowingly aware and identifies as gay and another person says "back in my country, there were no gay people."
This blanket statement shows ignorance, lack of empathy or awareness depending on the tone, and lack of responsibility in the intent of the reaction.
These occurrences happen in relation to our sense of identity, faith, practices, morals, dreams and other important components that make up who we are.
It is not a mere dismissal of ones favorite color being "the best color" or favorite number being "the luckiest number".
Being dismissive tags on other harmful traits, like narrow mindedness, resentment, stubbornness, lack of emotional regulation, and aggression.
When we are not equipped on how to diffuse a dismissive person or take back control in a positive way what negativity is deterring the interaction, we perpetuate this.
I see on social media every day, sometimes hourly, the dismissal of opinions + feelings + retellings of events. Someone reveals a personal truth and others leap in with dismissive opinions that do not show value to the conversation, even value in opposition with other facts or feelings ----> but instead are thoughts like gasoline just dousing the persons' post.
The willingness of any of you to carry on without addressing someone who gas lights, mocks, or tears down someone else all just make it worse.
We, as a collective, need to focus on healthy communication and emotional regulating. Especially on social media, where people feel more comfortable to act out because they feel hidden and protected behind a screen.
We dismiss ourselves sometimes daily when it comes to our own ideas, desires, and creativity. Our upbringing taught us things like:
■ work hard, play later
■ never trust a stranger
■ do not share your ideas with anyone
■ do not attach to others easily
■ only you can get the job done right
■ borrowing means never getting it back
■ dating is nothing serious
■ friendships never last
■ low level jobs aren't serious
■ the higher you rank, the better you are
■ the higher the K, the more successful you are
■ nothing comes easy
■ money must be hunted for
■ money makes the world go round
■ college means you are not in the real world
■ blue collar jobs mean you are on a leash
■ work from home means harassing people for money for things they don't need
There are millions more.
Who says things cannot just work out?
Who says we cannot play AND make a living?
Who says we can't play TO make a living?
Who says that one size fits all, cookie cutter lifestyles are the way to be successful and happy?
The people who use "can't" "won't", "would never", and "impossible" in their vocabulary are people that suffer from trauma. And sometimes they are completely unaware of it.
Where it came from, that notion of "no" when facing opportunity or obstacles.... why they chronically feel that way and why taking chances feels WRONG.
We dismiss anything does not have proof already of an outcome that fits what society pegs as "correct".
I hear people say "I don't care what anybody thinks of me" but very little actually mean it. There is always a but. Everyone but one person or one scenario that makes you question your greatest desires and goals.
Often it's as simple as every day dismissal.
Your job, your spouse, your mom, your best friend ----> somebody [and possible a clusterfuck of them] in your life dismisses you.
And you take it because your will to push beyond it is not strong enough.
You have become convinced that your own needs are secondary.
Once I realized that dismissive people were mostly stuck and sad in their own lives, I began to connect the pattern.
What dismissive sounded like, felt like, how it rippled from one family member to the next.
How a seed of doubt could cause a child to regress or become introverted.
How a marriage could disolve over time as one partner nudges to the other that their way of simply "being" was not aligned with what formula for success that person had been taught was. Or the lack of support a partner needed, causing a divide between the partnership. Feelings of no empathy, no help, and no encouragement coming from the dismissive partner made the other one feel misunderstood and alone.
Being dismissive is like a disease.
Its airborne and without precautions taken, just spreads like wildfire throughout families and groups of people.
You may have experienced being in a home day to day around dismissive people and simultaneously struggling with your :
• mental health
• job / income
• ability to focus
• ability to regulate emotions
• anger issues
• irregular sleeping and eating patterns
• shortness of breathe
• ability to meet deadlines
And other major issues in your life.
Then you move out, of either a relationship or home, and get your own space.
Suddenly you are a new person. ---> healthy, positive, upbeat.
This scenario does not just happen because of heavy abuse. You could have just been smothered by a dismissive person or home.
And all that time you thought it was YOU.
Dismissive culture historically branches from many aspects of society, with a big focus on industries and profits, as well as religious commitments.
There was always an outer focus.
God. Work. Society.
Lack of focus and faith on our own abilities because we were taught we need strategy and products in order to succeed.
While help, resources, tactics, and support are all tools available and handy for us to live a healthy life -------> the key to happiness is .......
BEING FREAKING HAPPY.
While some obstacles are financial, medical, psychological, environmental etc. the most important factor here is evaluating how connected we are to ourselves.
How much do you trust yourself? Then others?
We are all "strangers" and yet we are not.
We all have complex, unique traits per individual that allow us to tap into different skills and talents.
Without being dismissed, embracing these traits actively and daily would change our culture in catastrophic measures.
If we removed dismissive language and ideas from our knowing and interactions---> in replace of it using healthy, positive tools for encouraging others and promoting support as second nature -----> we would radically change the tone of our society.
Imagine being able to share your hopes and greatest desires to your
like it was a natural way of interacting. And in response, they offered words of encouragement, pep, and insight !??
"Yeah bob, thinking of starting the eco project on my home this weekend"
being met with
"Wow, Terry, that sounds efficient and cool. I read about a method that sounds useful...[ or I wish you well, that sounds great!] "
Instead of the usual dismissive statements like
"Yeah, Terry, I mean it sounds a bit pricey...and I heard it was gonna rain.. [or ' to each their own', gotta go]"
Imagine if when our kids came to us with big ideas, we said
"Omgosh honey, how can I help? ..[or, 'what inspired that idea]"
Instead of the usual dismissive statements like
"Newspaper cannot make a real table. [Or, 'that doesn't seem like a smart idea]"
☆ Quite honestly, what the F do we know and who the F are we to dismiss inventive, creative, intuitive thought process????
☆ Humans are emotional, complex, limitless individuals born with varying strengths and abilities
☆ Dismantling dismissive behavior allows for reparations and progress as a collective, in the way we interact and perform daily.
☆ Dismissive culture stems from ignorance, fear, insecurity and trauma. It is not a status or rating of intellect.
☆ Dismissive statements are not irrational or fictional. They are predetermined, negative conclusions that do not directly promote room for growth or empowerment.
☆ Dismissive is the opposite of Acceptive. Understand the ways in which you can teach and empower others to stop being dismissive and adopt ways to be supportive + positive contributions in their environment.
If you are unsure what being the opposite of dismissive looks like, here are 76 antonyms for dismissive.
What we need in order to BE happy is something that feels unnatural only because we have been taught everything else.
We, as a society, need to value:
♡ Shared ideas
♡ Emotional fulfillment
Which can be found through:
♡ Emotional regulation in healthy ways
♡ Allowing relationships to blossom
♡ Being charismatic and more outgoing
♡ Taking calculated risks
♡ Taking on opportunities
♡ Cultivating a deep relationship with "self"
♡ Forming spiritual/self care routines
♡ Adopting trust over doubt
♡ Adopting acceptance over dismissal
How can you begin now?
Actively choose to be supportive and encouraging towards others. Practice this in all aspects of interacting with humans of all ages and hold no bias in this approach.
Have a declaration of love and empowerment with your spouse, loved ones and children. Let it be known that you are choosing a new path. A path led by love and acceptance.
Set intentions to be this new way as a lifestyle and SHUT DOWN ANY AREA OF YOUR LIFE that has dismissive situations in it. Whether it be people, a job, a home, or another aspect of your life that carries dismissive culture ----> do something about that.
Maybe you need to educate people.
Maybe you need to set boundaries.
Maybe it's just time to remove yourself from that situation or relationship and choose something new.
Dismissive culture can be dismantled in exchange for positivity and personal growth leading to great success and happiness, but it does not just happen from one person.
We heal as a collective and WE set the bar so others can follow a new path.
J.S. Jaded Savior
Empowering content that inspires and provokes thoughts around healing, personal growth and personal development.
Content mention of Rape, Abuse, Neglect, Addictions, Mental Illness, Kidnap, Molestation, Child abuse, Teen Pregnancy, Abortion, birth, body image, gender/identity dysphoria, sexuality, personal trauma, domestic violence and other extremely personal stories. Please practice caution. I am not a licensed physician or mental health professional. No medical prescribing is provided on this site, Only personal insights, experience stories, and advice; All stories published have had prior authorization. Questions? Contact Jean at: firstname.lastname@example.org
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