Trauma + Healing Stories
Empowerment + Validation + Support for Trauma Survivors, one story at a time.
I do this thing now that helps me out tremendously when I get "flicked by bullshit".
I say "NO. I AM NOT DOING THIS."
Sometimes it is a whisper.
Sometimes, it is a SHOUT.
Someone from my past tries to slip into my DMs, "NO. I AM NOT DOING THIS."
Someone writes something really negative or mean on a post or share of mine, "NO. I AM NOT DOING THIS."
Someone wants to come out and play picking fight with me about literally anything, "NO. I AM NOT DOING THIS." [I hate confrontation and think it is a volatile way of expressing a feeling]
I get anxiety over something not done in the house and start to panic: "NO. I AM NOT DOING THIS."
I am talking with my husband, in clear disagreement, and start to feel angry or not heard/seen, so I gear up to fire back: "NO. I AM NOT DOING THIS."
MY KIDS MAKE A HUGE MESS EVEN THOUGH I SPENT THE WHOLE DAY CLEANING AND SORTING. I AM ABOUT TO LOSE IT OVER THE MESS. "NO. I AM NOT DOING THIS."
The point is, I have to do this constantly.
☆ losing my shit
☆ getting pains in my chest
☆ hysterically crying
☆ hitting a low mood
☆ getting panic attacks
☆ saying things I will regret
I have had toxic ways of reacting. I was raised by emotionally abusive and manipulative people. And loved + lived with similar traits before. I have even had some explosive traits.
Because we are a sum of what we surround ourselves with.
I now refuse to participate.
I never knew I could do that before.
Not sign up for the party.
Not take part in a fight or triggering event that would normally break me, but instead go take space to calm down and explore my emotions to find out why I feel what I do.
Not say things out of regret or defensiveness, but instead taking space to think and process.
This process aids in regulating my emotions.
I actively pull myself out of a moment that I do not like.
This also means big changes had to come in my relationships and what I surround myself with.
I had to honor everything in my space and life as healthy for me. Whatever was not, had to go.
I have had to declutter every corner of my life.
And it feels so....
From now on, even if I need to scream it and run away like a weirdo, I am keeping with my mantra. "NO. I AM NOT DOING THIS!!!!!"
I AM NOT
☆ PARTICIPATING IN ANYTHING THAT IS FLUNG, CATAPULTED, OR SNUCK INTO MY SPACE TO HURT ME.
Nope. I won't.
Not doing it.
The only principal I live by now is, "does it bring me joy?" And if the box checks off, i say "thank you for this."
I tell the universe, hands intertwined and chills throughout my body, that I am so thankful for the good. "Yes. This. Thank you."
Because I am my own boss now, thanks.
J.S. Jaded Savior
J.S. Trauma + Healing Stories
A collective of stories about Trauma + Healing, to promote awareness, validation and support for Trauma Survivors.
Content mention of Rape, Abuse, Neglect, Addictions, Mental Illness, Kidnap, Molestation, Child abuse, Teen Pregnancy, Abortion, birth, body image, gender/identity dysphoria, sexuality, personal trauma, domestic violence and other extremely personal stories. Please practice caution. I am not a licensed physician or mental health professional. No medical prescribing is provided on this site, Only personal insights, experience stories, and advice; All stories published have had prior authorization.
Jean Grey is a pen name that I use across socials and as a writer at my own discretion. Jean is my birth name and Grey is a symbolic addition I chose for significance to my identity.
Questions? Contact Jean at: firstname.lastname@example.org
EMPOWERING MINDS SINCE 2019
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED 2022