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Trauma + Healing Stories

​Empowerment + Validation + Support for Trauma Survivors, one story at a time.

#selfidentity #empowerment #personalgrowth #healing #math #identity #anxiety #PTSD

12/31/2019

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Your progress is not the sum of everyone else's support.

If you want to grow + expand your mindset and do something, you just have to do it and with your own motivation.

Your motivation can be seen as rock bottom. It might be that you never again want to be or feel alone. Or the way that you just did.

It could be the FINAL disappointment you faced and consciously decided no MORE of that.

Motivation does not have to be pretty.

And guess what?

Some people's reactions wont be pretty either.

What it has taken for you to change your life around, ONLY YOU KNOW.

YOU are the creator of your own LIFE story.

And whatever it takes to write a better future---> as long as it is healthy and wise ---> DO IT.

ONLY NON SUPPORTERS WILL SHOW UP TO SHADOW YOUR HAPPINESS.

And you do not need them anyways.

IF YOU ARE THINKING:

■ I DON'T HAVE THE MONEY TO CHANGE
■ I DON'T HAVE THE TIME TO CHANGE
■ I DON'T HAVE THE RESOURCES TO CHANGE


Know that the only thing going on right now is your fear is trying to talk you down.
Anxiety and depression are fighting for the SOAP BOX to tell you that your story has already been written "and it's a tragic one".

That is not true.

It is not logical.

Here's a thought that is though.

If you show up, you are bound to change.

AND SHOWING UP IS FREE.

NO ENTRY TICKET.

NO DOOR CHARGE.

If you show up for progress, you not only have a free pass but you get to choose what you take with you beyond the door.

BONUS DEAL, not everything is going to fit so you will need to travel light.

BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE....

Whatever does not fit in your life simply will be too heavy to carry on your journey.

And there is no time on your ticket.

You can SHOW UP whenever you want to.

Even if it is someone else's birthday or a holiday or mid breakup or a call to get away during a time others needed you.

You earned this ticket.

Any damn time you feel like accessing it.

I decided I need to be better.

Even though I'm poor.

Even though I have depression, anxiety and CPTSD.

Even though I don't have a set career.

Even though I don't have my own place to live.

Even though it's a Friday and a random time in the year.

EVEN THOUGH MY ANXIETY TELLS ME I HAVE TO START ON THE "FIRST OF THE MONTH" IN MY PLANNER OR ELSE IT WON'T COUNT AND I WILL FAIL LIKE I ALWAYS DO.

Anxiety is kind of a c*nt.

I need money to change, but not alot.

In the reality of reality, if I ask for donations in order to help me grow ----> a simple dollar donation from someone will get me [say it with me] ONE DOLLAR CLOSER TO THE HELP I NEED].

EXPANSION AND FEARS ARE ANTONYMS HERE.

You have to strip yourself of shame, worry, and what ifs.

ANXIETY IS NOT CONSIDERED CARRY ON.

So understand this.

You CAN. NO. YOU WILL FIND THE ANSWERS, SO LONG AS YOU START ASKING THE QUESTIONS.
So... do the work.

Ask for help.

Research your options.

Type in "free resources for .....".

Email a non -profit Organization that works with Trauma + Mental Health + Education + Transformation.
Whatever your unhealthy or undesirable struggles are ----> an answer awaits you.

The solution is just to SHOW UP.
​

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
J.S. Jaded Savior

​

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The concept of "whole".

12/27/2019

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I've been thinking a lot about the concept of "whole" and how unattainable it feels for someone who has been shattered by abuse.

We idolize this idea of "whole" because we think there are people out there who just "are".

Who were born into the perfect, loving family.

Who never had to struggle without money or shelter or food or provisions.

Whole means holidays of magic and celebration.

Whole means a full fridge all the time and a happy person ready to cook and serve it.

Whole means loving relationships and healthy communities that all go [not out of their way] exactly as ALL IN as they should into helping one another out.

Whole means friends who show up, call, celebrate, and encourage you.

Whole means a job you love and an environment you absolutely love showing up to.

Whole means great health and balanced diets. Strong bodies and athletic stamina.

Whole means pleasured and pleasuring and nights full of orgasmic perfection.

Whole means all time is managed and all nooks are in their crannies and all bows are perfectly symmetrical.
Whole means never having to heal from the bad.

Whole means kisses and promises dont taste like regrets.

Whole means heard.
And seen.
And valued.

Now a days I ask myself...

Who even is "whole"?

Who had the luxury of being raised "whole" without nightmares or anxiety or depression?
Without illusions of who they can really trust or what their reality is really like without abuse?

Maybe some.

Probably very few.

I want to talk about our TRUTHS.

The things that keep our shards of broken emotions taped together.

"I want to shake the standard and provoke the term 'whole' because too many people are avoiding their truths thinking that facades are crazy glue.

The truths are that we are every bit made up of trauma, each and everyone one of us is in some way hurt.
And so long as we chase our tails thinking the tip of healing is the end all, we do not really see the entire value of what we are in the present.

Not being whole has taught you a whole lot about life.

Not being perfect has helped you to grow through your mistakes.

You just need a reminder daily that what you are currently is a moving mosaic.

And it is beautiful.

So sit down with it, the fragments of your being.

And tell yourself it is enough now.

You are enough right now, your valuable insight and resilient nature.

And you will never "become somebody" or "do something meaningful" once you are "whole".

You will be invaluable now if you speak your truths.

Your purpose now is to be transparent during the hard days.

So that we can all realize we are quite similar.

And finally stand together.

♡
J.S. Jaded Savior

​

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The Big Push #empowerment #healing #trauma

12/10/2019

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When you start showing up and speaking your truths, the BIG PUSH happens.

I like to call this the "big push" and I always thought it was because it was a shove at you for DOING SOMETHING WRONG -----> BUT IT IS ACTUALLY THE UNIVERSE PUSHING WHAT IS BAD AWAY FROM YOU.

The BIG PUSH happens like this:

You start to speak up about your BOUNDARIES.

You begin to
THINK
SPEAK
WRITE
ACT
out your true feelings and
desires out into the universe.

You let your entire circle know what is UP.

The truth about your emotions, your needs, your likes, your dislikes.

The truth about your depression, your anxiety, your mental health.

The truth about what people piss you off, what wrongs have been done, what lines have been crossed.

And then, pushed out of the nest like a baby bird with fuzz on its ass still.

The universe says -------> FLY.

Some of you will FREEZE mid air, saying
Faaak faak faaak $#!T as you fall.

Some of you will look for any ledge or branch or familiar safety to GRAB desperately onto, because you did not feel ready for the gust of wind feeling like it is tunneling through your lungs and gravity that would quickly steal control from your body after leaping.

The truth though, is that it was worth that leap.

Worth the pent up anger and frustration you have had while living as "passing" in miserable situations and toxic relationships.

The big push is not in place to kill you or your self esteem.

Once I processed my feelings as I cascaded down heavily through the air of truth, I realized all I had to do to survive it was expand.

Expand my arms for the glide.

To embrace the wind as it carried me not down through lower expectations but AHEAD on nee horizons.

As a survivor of the fall, I am telling you now that I left the nest with my truths not with a fear of falling but with a clear of remaining stuck and in suspension of growth for never leaving.

For never even seeing what life would be like if I could fly.

This year, the BIG PUSH was a reward for taking that chance.

As I wrote out my truths and worked through them, I figured out more puzzle pieces as to who I am.

As I honored my BOUNDARIES, friends who did not were PUSHED OUT.

As I honored my needs, the items or things I did not need in my life were PUSHED OUT.

When I sat with myself to face my own fears and demons, the anxiety and the pain of walking daily with coal in my chest were PUSHED OUT.

THE NIGHTMARES WERE PUSHED OUT.

Because I stopped living in my own box of fears and depression, instead taking them to paper or computer screen for awareness and validation -------> my crippling fear of not being enough got PUSHED OUT.

I SHED SO MANY UNNEEDED THINGS IN 2019.

I PUSHED EVERYTHING THAT DID NOT WORK FOR ME OUT.


I spent years holding onto friendships and acquaintances with people who did not care for me or about me in the way that I WANTED TO BE CARED FOR, because of the anxiety of letting them go.

I felt guilt to cut people out.

I thought I had to love everyone regardless of how they treated me because I was happy eating other peoples crumbs of care instead of baking my own damn pie.

This revelation is so juicy, I can strip out all the metaphors.

I can tell you I simply trusted that I could show up and be myself, tell my truths, and be worthy of love.

I then decided I could love myself through the process, even if no one else did.

So I leaped.

I write about my mental health, the abuse I have endured, the revelations I have and the thoughts that come from my soul.

I no longer GAF who holds a word count to my posts.

I no longer worry when I hit share.

I do not time or limit or pressure myself when I speak or write my truths.

I do not censor or screen myself before I share what I think and believe.

Because I no longer live under anyone else's standards but my own.

I used to think the BIG PUSH was the Universe saying "Jean, you suck."

You:

■ WRITE TOO MUCH
■ TALK TOO MUCH
■ THINK TOO MUCH
■ PLAN TOO MUCH
■ ARE TOO MUCH

I was pretty sure I'd been born or maybe created into TOO MUCH because of being neglected or taught the wrong things since I grew up in an abusive environment.

I thought I was too much for wanting to tell people that:

■ HAVING ABUSIVE PARENTS IS NOT NORMAL OR HEALTHY

■ HAVING A CHEATING OR LYING PARTNER IS NOT NORMAL OR HEALTHY

■ HAVING BEEN NEGLECTED OR GAS LIT AND GHOSTED IS NOT NORMAL OR HEALTHY

■ LIVING WITH ADDICTS IS NOT NORMAL OR HEALTHY

■ STAYING WITH AN ABUSIVE COPARENT TO HONOR THE KIDS IS NOT NORMAL OR HEALTHY

■ HAVING FRIENDS WHO LOVE MISERY AND NO COMPANY IS NOT NORMAL OR HEALTHY

■ MASKING MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES WITH CODEPENDENCY, ADDICTIONS, OR OVERCOMPENSATION IS NOT NORMAL OR HEALTHY

■ LIVING IN STRUGGLE CHRONICALLY AND NOT CHANGING HABITS/LIFESTYLE IS NOT NORMAL OR HEALTHY

■ LIVING WITH MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES AND NOT SEEKING HELP IS NOT NORMAL OR HEALTHY.


AND LASTLY, "NORMAL" IS NOT SYNONYMOUS WITH "HEALTHY".


Once I was ready to speak up about my experiences with sex, birth, abortion, abuse, domestic violence, eating disorders, neglectful and abusive family, gas lighting and ghosting lovers/friends, narcissists in my life, and the physical trauma it all caused me ---->

Such as: depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, night terrors, panic attacks, heart palpitations, shortness of breathe, foggy brain, speech slurs, stutters, indigestion, weight gain or loss, skin problems, circulation problems, stomach pains, body aches, hair loss etc.

I suddenly felt RELIEF.

Relief that I did not have to hide myself from everyone ----> from happiness.

Now that I am on the other side of Trauma, the place of recovery, I realize I only nested myself in unhappiness because joy felt foreign.

I did not believe I was able to achieve past a certain level in life because I had been stuck in trauma for so many years.

The BIG PUSH did the rest for me after I made the first move.


So now I'm telling you one vital thing.

If you want to heal, you need to tell the truth.

To your friends, your coworkers, your parents, your partner, your kids, your bestfriend.

Most importantly, yourself.

No one else is going to care if you are ever brave enough.

In fact, many people in your life count on you to stay perched in your nest.

In your discomfort.

I want you to be brave enough to leave it all behind.

Willingly.


And know you do not even need to think or plan or map out what is best for you.

All you have to do is honor yourself.

The rest is going to follow according to the moves you make.

Happiness is trusting the air beneath your wings will take you exactly where you want to go.

Embrace it. ♡


J.S. Jaded Savior
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#depression #death #coffee #trauma #healing

10/31/2019

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Whenever I am on the brink of something amazing, I catch the "self doubt cold".

That isolating and suffocating feeling of "you cannot do this, you do not have it in you."

But then I remind Mrs. Doubt that I can finally realize how much of a "BAD BITCH" I am.

In a reclaim the term and call it being capable kind of way.

Because I've been through some real shit.

I have seen and heard and experiences traumatic, fucked up, abusive shit.

I have been hurt in brutal ways.

I have screamed my lungs out and begged for help out of the pain.

I have been abandoned and thrown out.

I have been betrayed.

But I am still standing here.

And I refuse to lay down.

In fact, over the years my strength went from a whisper to a ROAR.

I have superficial and stupid AF fears now.

Look at me, all cozy in my normal and non
-dysfunctional life. Whimpering at the idea of doing a live video or launching self help courses.

Worried my voice might crack or I might sound nervous.

..... when I have survived nuclear war style fights in my family.

...when I survived being VERY pregnant my senior year of high school where I knew nobody and had just lost everything.

....I have survived domestic fights in the home and brutal abuse from multiple narcissistic people in my family as well as past lovers.

I have undergone so many God damned transformations and burned so many bridges just to get to here.

I KNOW when my chemicals are just out of whack and my fears are just talking out of my butt.

They are irrational.

Unfounded.

Stupid, for lack of a better term to describe how ridiculous self ridicule really is.

Now that I want to do happy and great things, my anxiety is on hyper drive.

As I try to climb out to the light---> depression begs me back in.

Tells me to stay comfortable.

Tells me I will never find a better caretaker than it.

Someone who knows me so well, that they even know my weaknesses. And will keep me safe.

Safe?

I do not want to live safely.

I want to be BOLD.

Live beautifully.

And that means I have to take risks.

With no "at the risk of".

With no freaking buts.

When you are feeling low and depression is signing its signature on your back, in all honesty ---> TELL IT TO FK OFF.

You got better things to do and accomplish and you are so not ready to lay down.

J.S. Jaded Savior

​

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#depression #anxiety #emotions #empath #trauma #abuse #empowerment #personalgrowth

10/24/2019

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It's been a rough week.

I have felt huge waves of emotions, a lot of doubt in who I am and what my purpose is in this life.

But something amazing has also occured.

I have found my Trauma-voice.

And have given her a secret name.

I now know when she talks to me.

And when the voice starts talking, it sounds a little like this:

"I am not able to get through today. It is too hard."

"I cannot have another day like this."

"I don't know how I am going to survive this."

"I don't have it in me to argue or prove myself. I am just going to be quiet."

I developed a relationship with my inner voice when I was a child.

I have trusted her for so long, not knowing she was separate from who I POTENTIALLY am.

Not knowing that present me often argues with something inside my head that is not even "me".

It is just a ball of energy and smoke, a spirit filled with fears and flashbacks from the hardest times in my life.

Though the emotions within it were once very real, they are all a thing of the past.

I am no longer caught in a war zone.

I no longer get abused by my parents or manipulated and hurt by my exs.

I am safe.

I am present, so long as I separate myself from that voice.

Trauma is NOT me.

She was wounded repeatedly by emotional abuse and horrible physical assaults. She was scarred by unstable relationships and unpredictable moods.

I think for quite some time now, I have known that this voice MUST be separate from "me" because everytime I hit my low points or I am put in a triggering situation ----> I fight my way past it.

This week, in the midst of chaotic kids and a horrible stomach virus, this voice was so loud and it screamed for me to just drop everything. To stop trying. To ignore the world. To sleep.

"But for how long?" I begged to know.

"Who cares"...it whispered.

And in an instant, like waking out of a dream in a cold sweat, I realized the separation from her and I. In fact, I severed it. And I spoke to it with some heavy truths.

"I am so capable. I am able to do whatever I want to do. I am on the right path. I can feel it. I trust it."

Trust in myself ----> that was the blade that cut me free.

I know I will keep hearing this inner voice. This shadow of doubt. I know she is scared and defenseless.

Someone long ago created her.

And in a way, that was a gift.

I have been protected from some potentially deadly situations because I did not take the risk.

I have been able to stay alert, hypervigilant, and scan the people around me in order to draw out potential abusers.

But it has not been a fail proof system.

Her fears let me know it is flawed.

I still took some risks and chances, but always dancing around the safety line.

I have feared growing bigger because of her.

I have told myself before that sharing my story is dangerous.

That I am just creating a road map with tourist stops and pleasure hotels for abusers to reside in <------------

She is still scared of being hurt again and thinks that growth = exposure.

But I want exposure.

I am tired of walking around with these stories burrowed deep into my body.

Making my back ache, my neck sore, my shoulders tense, my knees weak.

I am tired of the fears and pain surging through my veins, keeping me up at night and fencing me in from potential growth --------> I know growth also means healing.

Trauma has been telling me all along that it is not safe to even begin to heal.

She had it all wrong.

In order for me to heal, I need to walk through the belly of the beast.

I need to be brave, vulnerable and trusting with myself that I can take the journey back through my timeline and correct the end result of who I am to become.

Healing = Transcendence

She will never be ready for that, and now that I know this I can do what I do best.

I can silence her in love and I can push myself forward.

Life is all about choices.

My Trauma and PTSD have damaged pieces of me that were not even aware they became dormant.

I have disassociated with the most painful of recollections and that has held me back from seeking out the highest platforms of my potential.

I am ready to step outside of all of the former fears, because the truth is nothing can possibly be scary if I have not even tried it yet.

In fact, scary does not even exist.

It is simply the unknown that I seek.

I will have triggers to tackle -- like loathing and despair, irrationality, and complacency. All of them not speaking but tapping on my heart.

And it will require more rough days ahead.

But the fight is worth it.

J.S. Jaded Savior

JADED SAVIOR: Speak your truths
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#selfproclamations #identity #truths #vulnerability #straightface #smiling​

10/18/2019

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Can we just finally come out and say it?

Resting B**th face SUCKS as a term.

I am mostly serious in my expressions.

I am not bright and bubbly every day, even though I am empathic and super passionate about many things.

My facial expression often embodies that of a calm horizon, my skin feeling the warmth captured within my eyes.

I have a STRAIGHT mouth, parallel to my eyebrows ----> serious as $Hit face.

And I will not apologize for it.

Though it does feel AAAAHHMMAAAZING to embrace my smile when I love something or feel a burning passion in the experience I have when I FEEL joy -----> that is not me MOST OF THE TIME.

I have been told not to "show I feel bad" because it may turn people off.

I have been told not to "show such seriousness" because it may make people get the wrong idea of my character.

I have been asked "WHAT'S WRONG?!" hundreds of thousands of times since I was a young girl for having a:

■ B!tch face
■ Attitude
■ Sour expression
■ Depressing look

And all that it did for me was reaffirm the fact that we as INDIVIDUALS do not need to ALWAYS smile.

In fact, I promise you that your emotional state or self esteem are NOT reflecting through the amount of teeth you show.

There have been plenty of times I have smiled for pictures or in front of others just to PASS AS OK.

There have been plenty of "B faced" moments when I was really just in deep thought, had to pee, had a sudden calmness or just----> wait for it.....

DID NOT EFFEN FEEL LIKE SMILING.

And all of that is OK.

Because your face is not showing up to the party for anyone.

And whatever you are feeling, it is important you honor those feelings----> even at the expense of looking a way that someone will not understand or want to question.

And ALSO, if you just do not feel like it---> it is YOUR RIGHT not to smile.

I am so sick of women in society being labeled as B!tches for not smiling.

I tell my daughter all the time that all her feelings are valid and she can express them however she chooses.

As will I.

Though I should be self aware of my emotions, I will not police my face for wanting to:

□ chill
□ relax
□ meet the horizon
□ mimmick the sunset
□ meet nobodies expectations.

And I applaud all of you SERIOUS women who honor your own movements and emotions the way YOU want to ---> without having to carry the bullshit guilt others try so desperately to place on everyone else but themselves.

I am a complex woman with many emotions and full awareness.

This straight face is me choosing the autonomy to just BE.

At the expense of leaving my true mood up to mystery for others...

Or encouraging people to just "ask" if they want to know so badly what is in my head or my heart.

J.S. Jaded Savior 

​

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October 05th, 2019

10/5/2019

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Being a Trauma survivor, I have had major issues with:

➸ TRUST
➸ CONTROL
➸ RESISTANCE
➸ IRRATIONAL FEARS
➸ LACK OF AUTHORITY
➸ LACK OF FAITH
➸ LOSS OF SPIRIT


☣☠ Trauma had me convinced I was not "normal" and that everything was dangerous or suspicious.
When someones' body language or voice or facial expressions gave me a hint of discomfort or sense of suspicion, I immediately withdrew myself from them or the situation.

But a lot of times I was just being triggered and feeling uncomfortable due to something I did not want to confront.

Maybe it was insecurities about myself or a lack of personal growth in a certain area, a weak spot I just refused to confront.

But all I knew was my gut was saying HECK NO -- BACK UP.

I wish I could go back to those moments, like pin tacks on a map in a murder hunt marking all the places I died a little inside.

All those significant little blips on a map that killed off my ability to trust, grow or learn.

I did not know that resistance could keep me from personal growth.

All I learned growing up in a dangerous and abusive household was that I had to steer clear of anything that put me in a position to be hurt. Whether physical, mental or emotional pain was about to take place.

I felt those triggers and pains frequently. When you have a parent that yells, throws china at the wall and tears down the entertainment center in a drunken rage on a nightly basis, you quickly develop an understanding of why some of the smallest and sweetest looking animals have quills.

Danger is lurking everywhere when you are in the land of predators, and even your own biological parents could potentially take you out.

As I grew, that fear and distrust built a wall around me.

Though I would have labeled myself as outgoing and sociable at the time, I realize I had a LOT of symptoms of PTSD and depression.

I kept myself at bay and kept the people in my life convinced I was ok by being an overachiever.

I also tried to have an eternally happy disposition all the dang time. Regardless of what was in my path, everyone saw me as successful and capable. As someone who evaded the path of pain trauma leaves people with. Because I applied myself. Because I was out doing things.

But I did things that served my comfort zones, not my true goals.

I just skated safely in the area of what I truly wanted.

I tried to fit in and keep myself busy.

I spent money on looking the part and being the role I felt I needed to be in order to pass as fine.

As happy and well adjusted.

The truth was hidden in what I did when no one was around.

In the ways, I could not be alone or in when I was alone and just crumbled in my emotions.

The truth was hidden in the times I did not cry or felt numb at things that are appropriately sad or scary.

And more so at my complete self-reliance because I could not let people in to care for me.

I had to prove I could do things all alone.

I had to prove that I could be more than a statistic or a stigma as a teen mom and then a single mom in college.
I was successful and I did A LOT. I wanted to work and go to classes full time. In fact, I piled way too much responsibility on myself and then in my free time went out or hung around friends ---- because I did not want to be alone with myself in my little apartment.

The silence and the darkness would eat at me and I would have flashbacks, panic attacks, deep depression and spirals.

My chores would pile up and my responsibilities would crush me every single time we had a vacation or off time from classes.

I did not know how to lean into myself or who I was. I was hollow when I actually humored my thoughts. I did not know who I was past the many things I was constantly doing.

And so everything reflected that.

Tons of unfinished projects and things that needed to get done pushed to the side all to appease my comfort zone.

Taking way too long or putting off the hard things.

I finally had to face it all this year when I finally experienced quiet --- lack of chaos and that long list of things to do --- and that made me very quickly hit rock bottom.

Realizing my lack of trust, lack of hard experiences or avoidance of hard things ----> It all pushed a rage and depression out of me that I never experienced before.

And suddenly once again I did not know who I was when I looked in the mirror.

Every day I literally said out loud that I hated everything.

"I hate this..." I would cry out... " I hate myself.."

And that mood would rub off on my partner, my kids.. my work..
I finally had to face myself.

And do something unexpected.

I had to admit my flaws and my truths.

To admit the bullshit...and STOP all the spiraling thoughts about not being good enough.

The truth was, I was just living in a constant loop of self-destruction but finally got so exhausted I gave up altogether. For a few days I did not shower, did not want to eat, and could not be near anyone. I did not want to have to even get out of bed. Or talk to my kids.

It was fucking hard and shameful.

But I am so thankful now I leaned in and let it happen.

I allowed myself to let go of control and chaos.. to just FALL. HARD, ON MY FACE.

And then.... like an instinct kicking in, I was able to get back up.

I got up enough to wash myself and have a hard F*cking cry in the shower.

Then I made a conscious decision to change.

Not just my mindset and my present time, but my story.

So I sat at the computer and I started to type.

I wrote out feelings and memories.

I cried all the way through it.

But I just kept writing and pouring out my soul.
✍
And in that out pour came inspiration for my new path.

Finally the right direction.

With honesty, vulnerability, and healing that I never before realized were the pieces missing in who I was.
I realized I needed to find myself in words where my own mind could not keep them trapped or confused.

A place to write and RELEASE.

IT has been a few months now and a NEW season since that meltdown.

And I can truly say I feel 100 years ahead of who and what I was then.

I have learned since that those bullshit traits I was trying to convince myself made up who I was were just that -- bullshit reactions to TRAUMA. My brain was trauma trained since childhood and I never knew better.. not until now.

And now that I am informed, being educated daily and living intentionally with the purpose of healing and growing ---> My soul is ignited with such purpose and LOVE.

All the excuses in the past and fears I had are just falling, as I molt those old identities and truths.

Truth is I no longer need them.

Where I am heading, who I am stepping into literally has to pack light.

I have no room for :

➸ TRUST ISSUES
➸ CONTROL ISSUES
➸ RESISTANCE ISSUES
➸ IRRATIONAL FEARS
➸ LACK OF AUTHORITY
➸ LACK OF FAITH
➸ LOSS OF SPIRIT

My heart is so full every day of:

☆ Inspiration
☆ Excitement
☆ Meaning
☆ Passion
☆ Validation

And I cannot sell some PILL, CLASS, PROGRAM, OR BEVERAGE to provide just made these things.....
I did not drink a Koolade or find a magic potion.

I made a promise to myself and then I honored it.

That is how my healing journey began.

Now my gratitude reminds me daily that it is SO easy to change.

To be reborn.

And I am forever changed, with motivation to write and so many stories yet to be told.

​J.S. Jaded Savior📷

J.S. Jaded Savior
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    J.S. Trauma + Healing Stories

    A collective of stories about Trauma + Healing, to promote awareness, validation and support for Trauma Survivors. 

    Find stories based on #hashtag categories about Trauma + Healing. Viewer Discretion is advised. Stories contain raw accounts about abuse, trauma, and vulnerability that should be respected + appreciated. Please exit this tab if you do not wish to read sensitive materials that may trigger you. 

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TRIGGER WARNING:
Content mention of Rape, Abuse, Neglect, Addictions, Mental Illness, Kidnap, Molestation, Child abuse, Teen Pregnancy, Abortion, birth, body image, gender/identity dysphoria, sexuality, personal trauma, domestic violence and other extremely personal stories. Please practice caution. I am not a licensed physician or mental health professional. No medical prescribing is provided on this site, Only personal insights, experience stories,  and advice; All stories published have had prior authorization.  Questions? Contact Jean at:  jadedsaviorblog@gmail.com

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      ​EMPOWERING MINDS SINCE  2019

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